• Inner Healing Ministries and Oral Sex
    Part 2 ~ Their Response

    I am sharing the letters I received from the various ministries to which I sent inquiries concerning oral sex. While I come to a different conclusion than they do on this and some other matters it is important to note that I believe in the core principles of their ministries, and I have been very blessed by each one. They are sincere Spirit-filled Christians who do very good work. Their only desire is to serve the Lord where He has planted them, and in His Name and by His Power minister to the walking wounded in the Body of Christ. Disagreement in a few things does not mean disapproval of all.

    Elijah House

    After I wrote to the various healing ministries I first heard from Elijah House.

    Dear Adam,

    I appreciate your pursuit of truth and of God’s heart in wanting clarity on the issue of oral sex within marriage. I have heard John Sandford teach, on video, that it is a sin. I do not know the biblical, spiritual, philosophical, or logical basis for this. I will share my own perspective on this as a prayer counsellor with Elijah House, however this is only my perspective and not to be considered an official Elijah House position.

    Elijah House.

    In the area of sexual intimacy, in the context of the marriage covenant, I use principles from Romans 14 as a guideline for issues of sexual expression such as oral sex where there does not seem to be a clear prohibition. It is verse 14 and 15 that is most relevant. If there is something that is “clean” for one person, but unclean for their spouse, then for the spouse it is sin. Love would require them to abstain from that activity in order that they not defile their spouse’s conscience. I also believe that the Lord has shown me that to try and convince a spouse that they should be comfortable with a particular activity is also sin; it is failing to love them.

    If you do receive clarity that oral sex is sin then obviously you need to stop and ask the Lord’s forgiveness. If however you do not receive clarity then I recommend you consider it a personal matter between you and your wife. Ask the Lord for direction and let your conscience guide you. In this I refer back to the principle in Romans 14 and the central directive from God that we love one another. If you both feel oral sex is clean then it is not a sin. If one of you feels it is unclean, then for them it is sin, and out of love you would stop. We are called to willingly give up certain freedom if the exercise of that freedom causes another to stumble. The one freedom that God is committed to giving us is that we would be able to love, regardless of the situation. May we all know this freedom in increasing measure.

    I received a second response from another of their counsellors.

    Dear Adam,

    We've asked around Elijah House to get an answer for you question about oral sex. Our best information is that this has never been an Elijah House teaching, officially, one way or the other. Some of our teachers may have expressed a personal opinion that it's not their preference. But, we can't find anything on this subject in any of our "teachings."

    Thanks for your inquiry.

    Ellel Ministries

    I next heard from Ellel Ministries in England.

    Dear Adam,

    Thank you for your recent e mail. I trust the following will be of help to you and clarify what we teach and the basis for that teaching.

    In our teaching we are not trying to be legalistic and lay down rules that must be followed. What we are trying to do is make sense of and line up those things that we have observed and seen in ministry with the Word of God. What we seek to do is to explain and help people to understand those things that can be beneficial and those that can be detrimental to their relationship with Jesus.

    Ellel Ministries.

    When we teach about 'oral sex' we are specifically referring to ejaculation into the mouth and throat as an alternative to ejaculation into the virgina. Our experience in praying with many people is that such 'oral sex' gives demonic rights and that deliverance is needed as part of their ministry. We have often observed clear demonic manifestations during ministry to people who have been engaged in such practices. We do not teach that handling and kissing of the genital area is sinful. We would consider that an acceptable part of foreplay within the sanctity of marriage providing that both husband and wife are agreeable. (Forced behaviour of any nature, which over rides the free will of another person, is likely to damage that person in one way or another).

    We would argue that God's design is for the male penis to be inserted in the female vagina for the purpose of lovemaking and procreation. We would consider that insertion of the penis for the purpose of ejaculation into other female orifices is unnatural and outside God's creation ordinances.

    Whilst there are no Biblical texts that specifically prohibit such practices as oral sex, masturbation or anal sex it would I think be incorrect and or misleading to argue that lack of prohibition can be interpreted to mean that this legitimises such practices. (There are, for example, as far as I know, no specific texts that prohibit child sexual abuse although I'm sure we would all agree that such practice is abhorrent to God.) There are of course many scriptures that refer to the detestable practices (including presumably phallic worship) of the pagan nations surrounding Israel. There are scriptures that instruct the Israelites to keep themselves separate from such people or even destroy them. There are other scriptures that speak about God's anger because the Israelites have become involved in such practices.

    We are not teaching that oral and anal sex should be avoided purely on the basis that such practices are carried out by gays we would argue that such practices, whatever the relationship setting, can open us to demonic bondage. Again our experience in ministry to those who have engaged in oral or anal sex in a homosexual relationship is that such practices does lead to demonization and the need for deliverance.

    We would teach that oral/anal sex practices within a heterosexual relationship could be a root cause of subsequent homosexual behaviour by the participants or their offspring. The Bible teaches that generational iniquity can be passed down the generational line (Exodus 20:5). If the demonic is given rights through sin in one generation, subsequent generations can find themselves drawn into similar sin. We would suggest, therefore, that if oral sex or anal sex has been practised by heterosexual couples and has given the demonic rights, then it is possible that subsequent generations may be enticed into similar activity that may be of a homosexual nature.

    I trust the above is helpful to you.

    Catch the Fire

    Last, I heard from Catch the Fire (then it was called Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship, or TACF.).

    Dear Adam,

    Our teaching on oral sex would be that it oral/genital stimulation is permissible as foreplay between husband and wife, PROVIDED that there is no coercion by one of the other. This is what is alluded to in the verses you quote from Song of Songs. Outside of this narrow permission (which could be called oral stimulation rather than oral sex) oral sex is wrong.

    Catch the Fire.

    There are several reasons for this firstly oral sex is very commonly represented in pornography and one partner's desire for oral sex can often be linked to pornography addiction and coercion of their spouse.

    Secondly oral sex is often used in promiscuity to provide sexual pleasure without risk of pregnancy and so is associated with "sidestepping" God's boundaries. Often this has been a habit for one or other spouse before marriage and so carries over to defile the marriage bed.

    Thirdly God's design of our bodies would clearly be primarily for genital sex, rather than oral sex. There are often health consequences to oral sex, such as infection and soreness, which follow from this not being God's primary design.

    There is no particular significance to gay use of oral sex in this context, although all forms of homosexual sexual activity are wrong.

    I think the primary question is "do you and your wife both feel free to include oral stimulation in your foreplay, or does defilement arise from knowledge of oral sex in one or another of the situations I have outlined?"

    If there is any hesitation on either part, the other should respect that and seek other ways to bless.

    I hope this helps.


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